Friday, April 1, 2011

4 Kualitas Wanita Pilihan Pria


Source: Yahoo News

BERUNTUNGLAH Anda para wanita yang memiliki paras cantik dan bodi seksi. Tapi, apakah kualitas itu cukup sebagai syarat menjadi pendamping hidup yang baik?

Layaknya wanita, pria pun memilih pendamping hidup tak dari fisik semata. Saat pria ingin berkomitmen, pria akan memilih wanita dengan kualifikasi sebagai berikut:

* Energi
Pria menyukai wanita yang memiliki energi. Energi untuk melakukan aktivitasnya sendiri atau pun masih bisa meluangkan energi untuk memperhatikan pria.

* Seksi
Seksi tidak hanya diwujudkan dalam sepotong lingerie. Pria senang dengan wanita yang tampil nyaman dalam setiap penampilan, berapa pun usianya.

* Easy going
Pria akan jatuh cinta pada wanita yang kalem dan cool. Tidak mudah jatuh dalam pelukan, juga tidak terlalu tinggi hati dalam berteman.

* Terima kasih
Tidak perlu otak jenius untuk mengucapkan terima kasih. Dan pria akan langsung jatuh hati pada wanita yang sopan untuk mengucapkan terima kasih atas bantuan yang telah pria berikan.

So, high quality woman kah Anda? (kpl/***)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Delapan Tipe Orang Perlu Dijauhi

VIVAnews | By Pipiet Tri Noorastuti, Anda Nurlaila - Rabu, 1 Desember


Hubungan yang sehat penting bagi kesehatan dan kesejahteraan jiwa. Namun, kerapkali kita terjebak dalam hubungan dengan sosok yang memiliki karakter 'negatif'.  Mereka umumnya sering mengeluh, mudah marah, atau tidak sabar.

Mengenali karakter seseorang di awal perkenalan menjadi penting. Apalagi jika ada prospek melanjutkannya dalam hubungan yang lebih serius. Kenali sejumlah karakter seseorang, seperti dikutip dari Times of India.

1. Memelihara masa lalu
Beberapa orang menolak melepaskan masa lalu dan cenderung 'merawat' kenangan menyakitkan. Akibatnya, orang ini hidup dengan kemarahan dan kepahitan. Bila terjadi terus menerus, dapat mempengaruhi orang yang berada di sekitarnya.
Solusi: Jika mereka mulai memunculkan subjek masa lalu, jangan ragu memberitahu dia bahwa Anda tidak ingin membicarakannya.

2. Mengasihani diri sendiri
Tidak ada yang lebih menjengkelkan daripada orang yang merasa menanggung beban seluruh dunia. Alih-alih mencari solusi, orang tipe ini terus mengasihani diri sendiri dan tidak melihat jalan keluar.
Solusi: Tawarkan bantuan dan jika masih tidak mau berubah, sebaiknya menjauh darinya.

3. Munafik
Tidak ada yang lebih menjengkelkan daripada berhubungan dengan orang yang memiliki sifat 'lain di mulut lain di hati'. Di depan Anda, dia muncul orang yang paling manis, namun bersikap sebaliknya di belakang Anda.
Solusi: Jika Anda menangkap ini terjadi berulangkali kepada orang lain, segera jauhi. Bukan tidak mungkin dia melakukan hal serupa kepada Anda.

4. Selalu negatif
Dia adalah jenis orang yang selalu memandang hal negatif dari hidup mereka.
Solusi: Bantulah melihat sisi positif dari dirinya. Jika tidak mau menerima, jangan biarkan hal negatif itu mempengaruhi Anda.

5. Paling sempurna
Orang seperti ini biasanya merasa lebih baik dan menarik daripada orang lain. Ia sangat menikmati aktivitas mengkritik dan menertawai orang lain.
Solusi: Bersikap sabar dengan perilakunya. Namun, jika mereka tidak berubah, sudah saatnya Anda untuk meninggalkannya.

6. Bangga mengumbar rahasia
Mereka sangat bangga menceritakan skandal dalam hidup dan senang melibatkan sebanyak mungkin orang dalam perdebatan.
Solusi: Bisa saja Anda dapat mendengarkannya. Namun bila mempengaruhi diri sendiri, segera menjauh.

7. Frustasi
Orang ini selalu merasa frustrasi dengan hidupnya dan melampiaskannya pada orang lain di sekitarnya. Bahkan, seringkali mereka mengambil kesimpulan yang irasional.
Solusi: Jika ia mulai merencanakan sesuatu yang gila katakan bahwa hal itu mengganggu Anda.

8. Sang Komentator
Orang seperti ini mengomentari semua yang terjadi dalam kehidupan orang lain. Seringkali, perkataan mereka menimbulkan perkelahian.
Solusi: Berhati-hatilah bila berada di sekitar orang tersebut dan berhati-hati dengan perkataan Anda.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Agar Produksi Sperma Melimpah

By Pipiet Tri Noorastuti, Siswanto - Rabu, 24 November | Yahoo News

VIVAnews – Memperhatikan kesehatan sperma sangat penting bagi pasangan yang tengah berencana memiliki buah hati. Sama halnya sel telur, kondisi sperma menentukan tingkat kesuburan.
Salah satu ciri sperma sehat adalah jika jumlahnya mencapai 20 juta per mililiter sperma atau air mani. Demi mempertahankan kesehatan sperma, ada beberapa hal yang perlu Anda tahu, seperti dikutip dari laman Methods Of Healing.

1. Olahraga
Ketika tubuh Anda selalu dalam kondisi yang baik, jumlah kandungan sperma Anda pun akan baik. Mempertahankan kondisi tubuh mudah dilakukan dengan menerapkan olahraga teratur.

2. Ejakulasi
Atur waktu ejakulasi. Tunggu sampai tiga hari untuk ejakulasi lagi. Ejakulasi terlalu sering bisa memperburuk kualitas sperma.

3. Gizi seimbang
Dengan asupan nutrisi yang tepat, seorang pria dewasa bisa memaksimalkan kuantitas sperma. Hindari makanan pedas. Tingkatkan konsumsi sayuran seperti bayam, brokoli, asparagus, dan ganggang laut. Juga buah-buahan seperti tomat, semangka, jambu, dan anggur merah.

4. Air Putih
Tak ada fungsi organ yang berjalan normal saat tubuh kekurangan air. Dalam kondisi dehidrasi akibat kekurangan cairan, produksi hormon penghasil sperma akan terhambat. Takaran ideal, konsumsi air sedikitnya delapan gelas per hari.

5. Pola hidup sehat
Selain asupan nutrisi, kesehatan sperma juga dipengaruhi gaya hidup. Demi kuantitas dan kualitas sperma yang prima, hindari stres, konsumsi rokok dan alkohol. Kebiasan buruk semacam itu bisa merusak kualitas sperma. Pemakaian celana dalam yang terlalu ketat juga memperburuk kualitas sperma.

6. Bercinta di pagi hari
Kebiasaan ini seringkali dijadikan trik untuk mempercepat memiliki momongan. Saat bangun tidur di pagi hari, produksi sperma berada di tingkat tertinggi.

7. Berat badan ideal
Berat badan berlebih bisa memengaruhi kuantitas sperma. Pilih menu-menu diet terbaik yang menunjang perbaikan kualitas kesehatan sperma.
Penurunan jumlah sperma bisa terjadi karena sejumlah alasan. Selain kebiasaan mengenakan celana terlalu ketat, infeksi dalam tubuh juga dapat menurunkan kuantitas dan kualitas sperma. Menjadi penting berkonsultasi dengan dokter karena konsumsi obat-obatan jenis tertentu juga seringkali memengaruhi kualitas sperma. (pet)

Sunday, February 22, 2009

10 Things You Need to Know About Love

by Mike Hardcastle
  1. Love does not hurt. Physical and/or emotional abuse are not a part of love.
  2. Love is not manipulative, it should not be used to get others to do what you want. You should never give in to demands based on the, "You would do it if you loved me!" tactic.
  3. Love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (romantic, friendly, familial) but it is always about caring.
  4. Although it is true that a big part of love is putting another person's happiness ahead of your own this never includes compromising your values or being untrue to yourself.
  5. If somebody asks you to do something that you don't want to do in order to "prove" your love they do not love you the way you might think they do. When you love another person you don't ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of that love.
  6. It is very easy to confuse lust for love. The true measure of romantic love is commitment and trust not physical attraction.
  7. It is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a given time. Just think, if it is possible for you to love both of your parents at the same time why would it be impossible to feel romantic love for two people at once? Don't beat yourself up emotionally if you find yourself in this unhappy situation. But be sure to remain single and be open and honest with all parties about your feelings and confusion.
  8. Sex is NOT love. Love is NOT sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory.
  9. Romantic love can (and often does) fade. When it goes there is not always a reason. When somebody falls out of love with you it does not reflect upon your value as a person or your desirability.
  10. Love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

9 Words Women Use

The Real Meanings of
9 Words Women Use
The Secrets Are Revealed!
What Man Should Know
  1. Fine = This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
  2. Five Minutes = If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
  3. Nothing = This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
  4. Go Ahead = This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
  5. Loud Sigh = This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
  6. That's Okay = This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
  7. Thanks = A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
  8. Whatever = Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
  9. Don't worry about it, I got it = Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but she is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?” For the woman's response refer to #3.
Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.

Source: Unknown ~ Tipsy

Friday, October 3, 2008

Dating After a Breakup: 4 Things You Must Know

By Dr. Laura Berman

After a significant relationship ends, or if you've been through a divorce, the idea of jumping back into the dating world can be overwhelming and intimidating. This is especially true if you are a single parent, or if you have been out of the dating game for a long time. Fortunately, there are many ways you can simplify your return to courtship and make a success out of your newfound singledom.

These are the 4 things you need to know:

Take time to heal. Make sure that you are mentally and emotionally prepared to date again. This is one of the most important parts of dating after a split. The end of a marriage or long-term relationship can be quite traumatic, especially if children are involved and you were together for many years. You can get through this difficult time by talking to a therapist, relying on friends and family for support, and taking each day as it comes. When you are ready to date again, you will know it!

Find your confidence. Divorce can do a number on a person's self-esteem. You might blame yourself for a breakup, think that you are a failure, or obsessively wonder what you did wrong. Stop! Your heart is still reeling, and only time will help heal the happiness and confidence that you lost. Until then, fake it ‘til you make it. Try a new haircut, get a facial, start working out again, or update your wardrobe. It might sound simple, but sometimes a little self-esteem boost can do wonders!

Get out there. You are not going to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right if you never leave the comfort and safety of your own living room. Make an effort to meet new people, and commit to dating at least twice per month. Ask your friends or family members if they know of any great single guys or gals, or try your hand at online dating. The more dates you go on, the more chances you will have to meet someone special. And even if the romantic connection isn't there, you can still network, meet new friends, and just have fun!

Prepare the kids. If you are dating and you have kids, try to keep any prospective partners away from the house until you are certain he or she is a keeper. Have sleepovers at their house, or if they have kids too, rent a hotel room or save sleepovers for nights when the kids are away. You don't want to confuse or hurt your children if the relationship doesn't pan out. Once you both feel comfortable that the relationship is serious then you can bring your new mate around to meet the kids. Try to make it a fun activity, such as a picnic lunch at the park, or an afternoon at an amusement park.

Remember, love and romance are important parts of everyone's life. Commit to making dating part of your life again, and enjoy the adventure and fun that comes along for the ride!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

3 Red Flags That You're Headed for a Breakup

By Dr. Laura Berman

When it comes to breaking up, hindsight is 20/20. But wouldn't it be nice if you could tell that you and your partner were headed for a falling out before it happened?

Fortunately, you can predict a break up. And with just a little bit of tweaking, you can get back on track and rescue your relationship before it hits the rocks.

Red Flag #1: Tuning OutOne of the most common reasons relationships fail is because one or both partners is tuning out. It might sound minor, but in actuality, few things are more hurtful than being ignored by your loved one, whether that is accompanied by emotional neglect or physical distance.

The Cure: Take Down the Wall Tuning back in is easy. All you have to do is agree to listen to your partner's feedback and dedicate time and emotion to the relationship again. Start taking down the emotional wall, brick by brick. Look at your partner in the eye when he or she speaks (even if it is not what you want to hear), make physical contact daily (even if it is just holding hands), and re-commit to the relationship.

Red Flag #2: Fighting Fire with FireCouples who fight fire with fire can expect a relationship that is constantly up in flames. Name-calling, sarcasm, criticism, and violence (from throwing things, slamming doors, to actual physical abuse) result in emotional wounds that are hard to heal and relationships that are hard to rescue.

The Cure: Pour Water on the FlamesThe next time you feel anger guiding you to say, or do, things you might regret, take time to cool off. If that's not possible, try framing your complaints as requests. For instance instead of, "Why did you forget our date?," you could say, "I feel sad that you forgot our date. How can we make sure this doesn't happen again?" If your partner is the one who is fanning the flames, don't engage in the vicious cycle of insults and tantrums. You can't fight fire with fire if the other person won't engage in the flame-throwing.

Red Flag #3: Refusing to Own UpNo one is perfect, so why is it that some of us refuse to take responsibility in our most important relationships? Passing the buck and playing the victim are surefire ways to put a relationship in jeopardy.

The Cure: Take Responsibility for Your ActionsThe next time you forget an anniversary, or say something hurtful to your spouse, don't try to pass the buck and refuse to take responsibility. Instead, admit where you went wrong and try harder next time. Sounds simple... but it can save your relationship.

By making simple changes to the way you and your partner communicate, you can keep your relationship intact. All couples fight and argue, but it is how you fight and argue that determines whether your love can weather the storm.

After the Affair

By Dr. Laura Berman

Can you recover after cheating?

Cheating strikes at the very foundation of a relationship: trust, vulnerability, and attraction all hang in the balance after a partner has stepped outside the relationship.

However, infidelity doesn't necessarily spell the end of a relationship. It's not easy (in fact, it's grueling), but there is love to be found again after cheating. Couples who survive cheating tend to use the experience proactively, once they've gotten through the anger and deep emotions. Cheating is a breach of trust that should never happen, but some couples find a silver lining of renewed commitment and vitality in their relationship moving forward.

For couples who aren't ready to give up, both partners must rise to the challenge. The unfaithful partner must become 100% accountable, for past actions as well as moving forward. There should be a period of full disclosure. The rage and pain of the betrayed partner must be accepted. A new system of trust building means the unfaithful partner accounts for all of his or her time tangibly -- spending time with people the betrayed spouse considers safe and checking in frequently, with regular phone calls and the like.

For the betrayed, the challenge is to express the very natural feelings of anger, but eventually put a limit on it. Incessant anger and bitterness are not going to allow you to move forward. I suggest daily venting sessions of 10 minutes. Seeking the guidance of a therapist will help manage this process in way that's appropriate for each couple. Also, beware getting into the victim role. Though it's no one else's fault that a person cheated, there is a dynamic in the relationship that went wrong -- not just in the adulterer. Fundamental emotional needs were not being met.

Ultimately, there are plenty of examples of couples who don't make it past cheating. The relationship is simply too worn and tattered -- the trust and the love have run out. Or the person who committed adultery has a pattern of behavior that he or she is unwilling to change.
So can you repair after an affair? With forgiveness, accountability, and a lot of heart from both partners, you certainly can. However, I won't lie and say it's easy. Many couples simply don't move on from infidelity.

3 Signs That Your Man is Cheating

By Dr. Laura Berman
How do you know if you are dating a cheater? You don't need to be a private eye to suss out these warning signs:
Revived Interest in Appearance: If your partner suddenly undergoes a makeover of sorts, in which he spends much more time on his appearance, it could mean that he is trying to impress someone new. If he all of the sudden ditches his old khakis and sweats for something more stylish, it might be because he is trying to look his best for a new woman.
Missing in Action: If there are large periods in which your partner is absent and unaccounted for, it could be because there are mischievous motives behind his AWOL behavior. Whether it is a run to the corner store that takes over an hour, or whether he is constantly "working late," a missing husband could mean something sinister.
Mysterious Texts or Phone Calls: If you notice mysterious texts or phone calls on your phone bill, or if your husband tries to hide the phone bill or his cell phone from you, it might mean that there is a new love interest in the rafters. Additionally, if he spends more time on the computer, or tries to hide the screen he was looking at when you walk in the room, this is a good indicator that he might be philandering via the worldwide web.
Of course, the best way to discover what your partner is up to behind your back is to communicate openly and honestly with him. Share your fears regarding his fidelity and try to discuss the matter before you go crazy with worry. Remember, things are not always as they seem!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Uncovering Your Shadow Beliefs

Oprah.com

A "Shadow Belief" is an unconscious belief that influences our entire lives, tells us what we can and can not do, and drives our behaviors. Life coaches Debbie Ford and Cheryl Richardson have helped thousands of people uncover their shadow beliefs...including Oprah!

Shadow beliefs are what hold you back in life—and you may not even have known they were doing it!

According to Cheryl Richardson, some of your shadow beliefs are preventing you from getting what you want in life. Most people know they have these beliefs, but are taught to hide them because we are ashamed and embarrassed. But you can overcome them and live your best life! There's nobody in the world smarter about you than you! Do you believe any of the following statements?
  • There is something wrong with me.
  • I cannot trust anyone.
  • I'm not lovable.
  • I don't deserve to have what I want.
  • Love does not last.
  • I am worthless.
  • I am never going to be successful.
If you've checked off any of the previous statements, you have shadow beliefs that need your attention. Uncover your shadow beliefs!


Three Steps to Uncover Your Shadow Beliefs

Life coach Debbie Ford says that we can all find what is holding us back in life. Start with these three steps and simple exercises. Debbie says, "To go deeper, you have to be radically honest with yourself. All of your emotions are there to guide you."

Step One: Get in touch with your pain and emotions. "You can't heal if you can't feel," says Debbie.

Step Two: Once you're feeling that pain or emotion, try and connect it to your past to uncover where that pattern of pain began.

Step Three: Embark on a healing ritual that will help you surrender that pain and anger once and for all.


Exercises to Uncover Your Shadow Beliefs

Shadow beliefs cause us to make the same mistakes over and over again. Try these simple exercises for uncovering these beliefs.

Exercise One
For one week, whenever you find yourself overreacting to another person's behavior, ask yourself: What traits in that person are you trying to disown in yourself?

Exercise Two
Also, make a list of the advice you give others and ask yourself if the advice is appropriate for your life. Cheryl Richardson often says, "We often teach what we need to learn."

Losing a Loved One

Dr. Robin Smith
Original Air Date: January 29, 2007

Losing someone you love is always difficult. Life can feel groundless, regardless of whether your relationship with that person was rich, warm and loving, or troubled, empty and vacant. "It still leaves such complexity to deal with the death," Dr. Robin says.

Dr. Robin says whether you've lost your father, your mother, your sibling or your child, it's important for you to acknowledge and accept that you're now a member of a club of people who are facing the same thing. Membership in the club offers you the beauty of never being alone in your anguish and the reality that there's no time like the present to embrace the ones you love, Dr. Robin says.

"Take that membership, be gentle with yourself, be gentle with the others who are in that club," Dr. Robin says. "Open your own heart in a new way, in a sensitive way, with a new awareness and a new gentleness about what it means to be thrown into membership you didn't ask for."

Dr. Robin says it's important to take a moment to talk to the people who are still alive today, before it's too late.

"Take advantage of today," she says. "Maybe pick up the phone and call your spouse, your parent, your grandparent or your child and say, 'You know what? Just wanted to tell you that I love you, or I appreciate you.' … Use today wisely."

Friday, November 16, 2007

How Not to Pack a Laptop

James A. Martin
My friend Mary has been known to do some crazy things. Last summer, she won a hat contest by affixing pieces of fried chicken to a straw bonnet and accessorizing it with biscuit earrings.

But before boarding a recent flight, Mary did something particularly crazy: She packed her laptop in her checked bag, a canvas duffel that also contained shoes, clothes, and toiletries.

"What's the big deal?" Mary asked me. Her notebook, an ultraportable Sony Vaio TX, was enclosed in a padded envelope. Wasn't that enough protection?

At this point, I hasten to add that Mary wasn't born yesterday. She's a savvy entrepreneur whose small business has been profiled in The Wall Street Journal. Still, her laptop packing strategy leaves much to be desired.

So why shouldn't you pack your notebook in a checked suitcase when you travel by plane? Here are three excellent reasons.

1. Your Notebook Could Be Damaged


You may have taken the utmost care in packing your notebook. However, what happens to your suitcase and its contents once you check it is out of your control.

"Airlines often load bags on top of one another in the cargo hold of your flight," warns the Transportation Security Administration on its Web site. "Your baggage may be loaded with hundreds of other bags, with possibly several on top of yours. Hundreds of pounds of pressure in conjunction with high altitude and the resulting low temperatures" while the plane is in flight "create an ideal environment for damaged laptops," according to the site. "These conditions crack cases and damage screens among other things. For these reasons, we recommend that you keep your laptop in your carry-on bag when traveling."

2. Your Notebook Could Be Stolen

While I'm sure the vast majority of baggage handlers and airport screeners are honest, all you need is one dishonest opportunist who spots your laptop in an X-ray screening.

For instance, on two different trips, I packed low-cost electronic items in my checked baggage--mainly iPod accessories--and found them missing when I unpacked. (Needless to say, I no longer pack any electronics in my checked suitcase.)

Also, keep in mind some thieves are more interested in a laptop's hard drive data than the computer itself. The drive may include information, such as social security numbers, that can be sold or exploited for identity theft. Do you really want to risk having data like that fall into the wrong hands?

3. Your Notebook Could Get Lost

If you've packed a notebook in your checked bag and the airline loses that bag, you're out of luck. Oh, and do you think the airlines will reimburse you for that laptop? They probably won't.

On U.S. domestic flights, there's a $2800 compensation limit per person total (not per bag) for lost or damaged baggage. And so, in theory, if you've packed a $3000 laptop in your checked bag and the bag goes missing in action, you're out at least $200. For international trips, airline liability is capped at $1500 per passenger.

However, many airlines specifically exclude computer equipment from their liability--meaning they don't have to pay you anything if your laptop is lost, stolen, or broken during a flight.

For example, go to Delta's Declaring Baggage Value page and you'll read this policy: "Delta is not responsible or liable for cash, camera equipment, commercial effects, computer software and equipment, electronic equipment, fragile articles, jewelry, lifesaving medication, negotiable papers, irreplaceable business documents, works of art or other similar valuable items contained in checked or unchecked baggage."

Other airlines have similar policies, including American Airlines, Continental Airlines, United, and US Airways.

What Are Your Options?

If you must pack your notebook in a checked suitcase--as some travelers were forced to do last summer, following an alleged terrorist threat--then you'll need to take precautions.
  • Back up your data before you begin your trip, and make sure it's password protected at a minimum. Consider removing your laptop's hard drive and packing it (carefully) in your carry-on bag.
  • Pack the notebook in a shock-resistant case, such as an Otterbox, or buy a ruggedized notebook. Put a TSA-approved lock on your checked bag to reduce the chances that an unscrupulous baggage handler will steal your laptop.
  • Look into buying insurance for your notebook from the likes of Safeware.
  • Consider using a service that tracks, locates, and recovers stolen laptops, such as LoJack for Laptops ($50 a year).
For more advice, plus info on ruggedized notebooks, read "Protecting Your Laptop, Part 1" and "Protecting Your Laptop, Part 2."

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

5 Sure-Fire Ways to Spark Her Interest

By David Wygant
Special to Yahoo! Personals

Most men think that they need a clever line to approach a woman. But through all my years of coaching men and women, I have found that it is not what you say that's important, but how you approach.

Most women put more importance on visual clues to assess a man's character. They don't care what you say, as long as you say it without hesitation and with authority. Unfortunately, most men don't know this, so they walk over to a woman like a wounded animal expecting to be rejected. When you approach like a wounded animal, you will be rejected every single time -- no matter how clever a remark you may have.

With 80 percent of human interaction based on nonverbal body language, what is a man to do? The key to impressing her right off the bat is to be different from all the other men who are approaching her that evening.

Here a few sure-fire ways to make your approach more powerful and convincing, even if you are not sure what you are going to say:
  1. Walk with confidence. When you see a woman that you are attracted to, walk right over. Stand up straight and walk over slowly but with confidence. Make sure your chest is puffed out and your posture is looking strong and not slumped over. Keep eye contact as you approach. Do not hesitate. Most men linger in the background before they approach, then, when you finally do approach, she is quick to turn her back on you. The reason is that you did not exude confidence. Most women notice who is observing them. When you do not approach within seconds of spotting her, you might as well go home.
  2. Lose the male pack. When out on the town, avoid being seen with the drunken testosterone pack of males. One of the biggest turn-offs for women is the "male pack" -- you with five of your buddies high-fiving each other, drinking and checking out other women. When you approach a woman with your buddies waiting on the sideline, she will impulsively reject you in front of the pack to avoid being scrutinized later. Break away from the male pack and find one other guy to go out on the town with. Save the male bonding for a sports bar.
  3. Dress for a strong appearance. Make sure you're not sabotaging your efforts with your attire. If you look like a slob, it will not matter what your body language says, because you will look like every other man who put no thought into what he was going to wear that night to attract women. Buy clothing that makes you stand out from the rest of the men. Find a cool pair of jeans and some great shirts that give you an edge, so when you walk in with the right body language, women will see you. Keep in mind that shoes are really important too, so find a few pairs that look great on you.
  4. Create a spark within her. Most men's conversation will center on being agreeable and non-confrontational in the hopes that she likes you. In the mind of a woman, playing it safe equals boring! You need to spark her interest by being a bit disagreeable. For example, you get into a conversation about summer movies and she says that "Spiderman III" was her favorite Spidey movie so far. Instead of being agreeable, look her right in the eye with confidence and tell her that she is so wrong -- the first Spiderman was superior. Then proceed to tell her why you think so. This will create a fun, friendly, flirtatious verbal sparring, which will create a spark in her brain. She will realize that you are not a pushover like most men and attraction will start to form in her head.
  5. Maintain some tension.Flirting with women is all about gathering information
    Flirting with women is all about gathering informationFlirting with women is all about gathering information, so the better listener you are, the better your chances. When you call her, you will have more things to talk about. Before calling a woman, I think about everything she said and then I pick the most juicy topic or opinion and challenge her with it. For example, going back to the example of "Spiderman III," I would text her the next day: "I was thinking U & I need 2 re-watch Spiderman. U R so wrong. Name the time & place & I'll bring the DVD."
She will immediately respond to the challenge and text you back. You have just learned the secret of re-creating the tension that you shared with her. Plus, you are being totally unlike every other guy who waits three days to call her and schedule a predictable dinner date.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

How to find free stuff

Monday September 24, 2:09 pm
ET By Gerri Willis, CNN

Everybody likes free stuff. So put your wallet away and get out those pencils. We went out to find the best deals out there for the taking.

  1. Free Samples
    Let's face it...free stuff is the best stuff. You have to be careful of free-product programs...your inbox may be flooded with ads or there may be hidden fees. So read the fine print carefully.
    Here's one Web site that connects manufacturers with consumers who test products. That's www.startsampling.com. You'll also want to check out company Web sites directly like tide.com and olay.com to sign up for discount coupons and new-product samples.
  2. Free Phone Aid
    We've all been charged for dialing 4-1-1, but now there's free directory assistance. That number is 800-FREE-411. You will have to listen to a few seconds of advertising. But you'll get your number at no charge.
    And here's another handy phone tool...If you really want to get out of a meeting...or a date, you can "receive" a fake call. Check out popularitydialer.com. Set the time you need to receive the call and which excuse you want to use...(like the "return to the office" call), and voila! you'll receive a "fake" call with a recorded message that demands you leave whatever you're doing and go back to work.
  3. Free Memory
    If Post-its just aren't cutting it as your scheduling tool, there are some free tools on the Web that can help. Check out memotome.com. You'll never have to say a happy belated birthday again. Just put in your e-mail, and program in the events and dates you need to be reminded of. There's also birthdayalarm.com. Membership is free and you'll even get free invites and party planning tools.
  4. Free Books
    If you're an avid reader, you may really love paperbackswap.com. All you have to do is choose a book you'd like to read from a list and you'll receive it in the mail.
    At the same time, you list the books you want to get rid of. When someone requests to read it, all you have to do is pop it in the mail. You will have to pay for postage, but it's usually around $2.13.
  5. Financial Planning
    Before you invest in a financial planner, check out some of these online tools. To figure out how much you'll need in retirement, check out this calculator. All you have to do is punch in some basic info about your income and savings. If you want to take a peek inside your portfolio to see how your funds are doing, Morningstar.com has a great tool on its Web site called Instant X-ray.

6 Diets to Avoid

Posted by Joy Bauer, M.S., R.D., C.D.N.
on Thu, Sep 27, 2007, 10:01 pm PDT

When it comes to losing weight, everyone's in search of a magic bullet. But don't fall for the hype. Unfortunately, there's no short-term fix for long lasting weight loss.
So learn to identify these six red flags:
  1. Diets that promote or promise drastic weight loss.When you start a diet, you can potentially drop a lot of weight during the first two weeks (some of which will be water weight). However, if you lose more than two pounds per week in the weeks that follow, you run the risk of losing "muscle mass," and your metabolism will slow down in response. That's why true health experts advocate losing weight slowly and gradually - so you melt away fat while sparing precious muscle.
  2. Diets that claim to work because of special supplements, creams, or potions - no diet or exercise required!Or diets that make you buy mega supplements in order to follow the program. If it sounds too good to be true, it is!
  3. Diets that differ entirely from the way you currently eat (or like to eat).If a plan is incompatible with your lifestyle, chances are slim you'll stick with it.
  4. Diets that are less than 1,000 calories.Too difficult to sustain and can often leave you cranky, irritable, and with a bad headache. Not to mention hungry and lethargic.
  5. Diets that claim they are effortless.There's no such animal. Losing weight takes focus and effort. Period.
  6. Diets that cut out entire food groups, or focus on only a few foods.Not realistic for the long haul; the sign of a plan you're soon to go off.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

7 Reasons Why She Didn't Write Back

Sure-fire ways to boost the number of email responses in your inbox
By Caroline Presno, Ed.D., P.C.C.
Special to Yahoo! Personals
How frustrating is it when you reach out to a woman online and she doesn't contact you back?
Here are the most common reasons why you didn't hear from her, and ways to work around them so you can boost the number of email responses in your inbox.

1. She's getting a lot of attention online. A key thing to remember is that women's inboxes tend to get crowded with potential suitors. Make sure that you stand out from the competition by commenting about something specific she said in her profile, such as, "You mentioned you really like movies. What are some of your favorites?" Don't send her the same email you sent to 20 other women. It doesn't make her feel special.

2. You contacted her just because she looks hot. How many times have you skimmed a profile quickly and then contacted her right away because she is cute-looking in her photo? And then she doesn't respond. If you go back and reread her profile in depth, there will be things you missed which give you the clues as to why she didn't contact you. Maybe you missed that she has three dogs and your profile says you don't like pets.

3. You posted the wrong photo. Guys, you need to start paying more attention to the photos you are choosing for your profiles. Don't even think about posting a photo until you show it to a few women (a coworker, sister or friend you trust) and get their reactions. What you think is a fine-looking picture may look like a menacing mug shot to us. Also, a pet peeve for women is a photo where you've got your arm around some other woman who was obviously cut out of the picture. Last, but not least, choose pictures where you can see your face clearly.

4. She may think your email was too forward. Make sure you are not asking her for a lot of personal information the first time you contact her. You don't want to make her shy away from you even though you are just trying to get to know her. Avoid asking things like her place of work, specifics about where she lives or details about her children. Also, don't suggest meeting in person in the first email.

5. You focus on past breakups in your profile. When women read your profile, they want to learn about you, not your exes. If you are including too much detail about bad past relationships in your profile, you may end up sounding bitter and jaded, which is a turnoff. As you get to know a woman online over time, then you can get into both of your relationship histories. It's not something for your profile.

6. You aren't her type. Even though you think your profile and her profile could walk off into a romantic sunset together, she may feel that you are not her type. I know it's hard to do, but gentlemen, try not to take this personally. The process of online dating is sorting through a variety of profiles to find the ones that are best suited to you. If she doesn't think you will be a good fit, then you probably won't be and she's saving you a lot of time and effort.

7. She doesn't get what a catch you are! You want someone who understands all the things you have to offer and is excited to respond to you. Instead of focusing on all the women who aren't contacting you back, pay attention to the thousands of women with profiles online who are just waiting to hear from you!

5 Ways to Get Into a Man's Head

To get into his heart, start by getting into his head

By Caroline Presno, Ed.D., P.C.C.
Special to Yahoo! Personals

How many times have you wondered, "What is this guy thinking!" If you want to get into a man's heart, you have to start by getting into his head. The problem is many men have a hard time being open about their thoughts and feelings.

Armed with the following five techniques, a man will feel more comfortable opening up to you, so you can develop better communication with him and, ultimately, enjoy a better relationship.

1. Let him know you care about what he is saying. A man won't open up to you unless he knows you care. One of the best ways to convey this to him is through your body language. To show your interest, unfold your arms, lean into him and allow your eyes to meet his in a natural way. Let him know that you get what he is saying with a nod of the head or a raise of your brow.

Also, try "mirroring," which means that you absorb his body movement and convey it back to him. So if he looks stressed telling a story, you look stressed as well. It's like saying, "I feel what you are feeling. I'm putting myself in your shoes."

2. Be nonjudgmental. No man is going to let you into his real thoughts if he senses he is going to be criticized or put down. Leave out comments like "How could you do something like that?" or "That's not something I would do."

Give him the freedom to express himself openly and honestly without judgment and you'll be surprised at all that comes out. You don't have to condone or agree with everything he says. You're simply creating an environment where he has the freedom to say it.

3. Don't use the word "why." When psychotherapists are in training, they are often taught to erase the word "why" from their vocabulary, because "why" questions frequently sound negative and critical.
When you ask a man, "Why did you do it that way?" it can come across as "Are you stupid, why on earth would you choose to do it that way?" Now he's on the defensive before you even finish the sentence. Practice using substitutes such as "Tell me more about it" instead of "Why did you do it?"

4. Never say, "We need to talk." Nothing makes a man want to talk less than hearing "We need to talk." It conveys the message that he's done something wrong, he's in trouble for it, and you are going to let him have it. He will shut down before the conversation starts.

The best way to bring up an important topic is to ease into it. Choose a time when you are both doing a small task together such as light cleaning or cooking, which takes the harsh focus away from "the talk" and will make him more comfortable. Remember not to approach him while he is involved in something important to him like Monday night football. (Heare are some other ideas about dealing with a football fan.)

5. Learn how to really listen. Chances are you always listen to him but you don't always hear him. How many times have you had something else on your mind as he is talking to you? Or maybe you are thinking about what you're going to say next instead of paying full attention.

It's important to stay in the "hear" and now with him, rather than letting your own thoughts or the outside world intrude. A man can sense when you really want to hear what he has to say -- true listening is the best way to get him talking true to you.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

10 Fatal Online Dating Errors

Mistakes that men make By David Wygant

Some men have absolutely NO sense of etiquette when they're trying to contact women online. During all my years of coaching, women have told me some amazing things men have written to them in emails.

Many men feel they can just say anything in an email when they are trying to get a woman to go out with them. If they said those same things to a woman in a bar or on the street, they might get arrested, or at least slapped. But when they're hiding behind the secrecy of their computer, too many men get abrasive and crude.

Here's my list of 10 things NEVER to do when you're online trying to get a woman to go out with you. Some of these are obvious; some you'll swear I'm making up! But all of them are things men actually do.Top 10 email turnoffs for women

  1. Don't ask her how much she weighs or what her measurements are. You might as well just tell her you only want to sleep with her and you have no interest in getting to know her, because that's what she's going to think if you ask her this.
  2. Don't email her seven times asking her why she hasn't responded to your first email. Women get far more email than men do, so you need to be patient. Instead of harassing her, relax and be confident that she's going to respond to you.
  3. Don't ask her how many other dates she's been on from Yahoo! Personals. How many other dates someone has been on is not important. What is important is finding out whether the two of you click when you hang out.
  4. Don't send her a nasty email if she hasn't responded to you after several emails. It's her prerogative whether or not she desires to be in contact with you. If she doesn't want to meet you, why get angry and nasty? There are plenty of other women out there who you can contact.
  5. Don't ask her if she wants to have sex with you on the second email exchange, and don't send her dirty pictures of you. Women are all about connecting with their minds. Just because you're looking for a quick fling, that doesn't mean she's going to respond.
  6. If she gives you her phone number, don't wait a week to call her. By extension, if you do wait a week to call her and she doesn't call you back, don't be shocked. Women have many options online. If she gives you her phone number, I suggest calling her that day. It keeps the momentum going.
  7. When asking for more pictures, do so without any references to "Can you please send me a picture so I can see your body?"
    Ask her if she'd like to exchange more pictures, which means you send some and she sends some. Several women have complained to me that men ask them to send pictures of themselves in bikinis or other such things, so that men can see their body. Men, don't do this!
  8. Don't get offended if she doesn't want to talk to you on the phone right away and/or wants to talk to you via email first to get to know you. You need to be flexible and open to her suggestions. Sometimes you may need to email back and forth for a week, and sometimes she'll give you her phone number right away. Either way, don't be rude.
  9. Do not email-stalk her. Many of my women clients have complained to me about men who will email them several times a day for three weeks, until they are forced to block emails from those men. Men, she got your email the very first time. She just may have chosen not to open it. By sending emails several times a day, not only are you turning her off, you're freaking her out! You've become an online stalker. That's a guarantee she'll never go out with you.
  10. Don't send cut-and-paste emails. When connecting with her for the very first time, don't cut and paste an email message in July that you've been sending out for six months with a tagline that says, "I love the holidays." By doing that, she knows you didn't read her profile - and that you're really, really lazy!
    Want to find out what works, check my Daily Dating Blog. If you need any more online dating tips, email me. I have another batch in my blog waiting for you to devour. I always enjoy hearing your comments.

Top Five Careers for the Extrovert

By Clare Kaufman

Extroverts are the life of the party--social, assertive, and full of energy. The ultimate team players, they come alive in the company of others. In short, extroverts have the social intelligence and drive to make things happen. Here's a look at five hot careers that call for the extrovert's charisma.

1. Financial Advisor - Median Salary: $66,800
Financial advisors develop an intimate understanding of their clients' life goals and plan their financial management strategies accordingly. Communication is as important as financial savvy, as an advisor adapts investment strategies to fit each client's unique profile. The extrovert's risk-taking nature may play well with a younger investor looking to ramp up quickly with high-stakes investments. But clients nearing retirement may prefer to protect their nest egg with a more conservative financial plan. A good advisor tailors the strategy to the client.
Education Requirements
Financial advisors typically enter the field with a bachelor's degree in a business with an emphasis in finance. Online financial planning courses offer applied training in investments, tax policy, and estate planning. These classroom hours may also count toward a Certified Financial Planners (CFP) credential, which is available with at least three years' work experience.

2. Human Resources Specialist - Median Salary: $44,430 to $79,918
Human resources specialists are in the business of keeping employees happy and productive. Their social intelligence helps them place employees in the right job, develop morale-boosting initiatives and programs, and create a pleasant work environment. HR specialists may also be called upon to mediate conflicts or negotiate labor contracts. Communication, cultural sensitivity, and diplomacy are crucial job skills. Aside from the interpersonal dimension of the job, human resources specialists collect and analyze HR data and present recommendations to management.
Education Requirements
A bachelor's degree in human resources prepares extroverts to focus their social sensibility in a business context. HR coursework covers compensation, recruitment, training, performance appraisal, as well as general topics such as business management and organizational psychology.

3. Purchasing Agent - Median Salary: $64,195 to $80,046
Purchasing agents are professional shoppers. They acquire materials for manufacturers or build inventory for retail stores. Extroverts excel at this social career that requires them to maintain long-term relationships with suppliers and network with peers in order to keep a finger on the pulse of the market. Purchasing agents may be found chatting up potential suppliers at trade shows and negotiating favorable pricing. In a volatile industry such as fashion, purchasing agents also keep time with industry A-listers in order to anticipate coming trends.
Education Requirements
A bachelor's degree in marketing offers the right business perspective for a purchasing agent career. Coursework should cover quantitative market research, financial analysis and budgets, merchandising strategy, and negotiation.

4. Mediator - Median Salary: $54,760
Extroverts are great diplomats, capable of grasping conflicting vantage points and bridging the gap between them. This social intelligence finds a natural outlet in the legal mediator role. With rising litigation costs, more and more people are trading their day in court in favor of an amicable resolution behind the scenes. Mediators are neutral third parties who resolve conflict by clarifying the underlying problem and developing a compromise sensitive to both parties. Consistent with their empathetic natures, mediators are more likely to focus on their clients' motivations rather than an abstract ideal of justice.
Education Requirements
A bachelor's degree in social sciences or business offers a solid foundation for a mediator role. Most mediators go on to complete a J.D. as well, honing their diplomacy and negotiation skills in three years of law school.

5. Physical Therapist / Assistant - Median Salary: $61,334 to $70,463 / $37,890
Physical therapists help patients afflicted by injury and illness regain their functioning or adapt to their new condition. They develop exercises to regenerate strength and mobility, teach patients to use adaptive devices, and track progress. Therapist assistants help physical therapists, and they also perform treatments.
Extroverted physical therapists and assistants have a strong advantage because of their communication and interpersonal skills. As Julie, a physical therapist in Chicago, points out: "Being an extrovert, my interactions with patients come freely and naturally." This interaction ensures the compassion and empathy so crucial to the patient-therapist relationship. It's this trust that helps patients discover the inner resources for overcoming physical adversity.
Education Requirements
Physical therapists qualify for licensure by earning a master degree from an accredited physical therapy program, though a doctorate will command a higher salary. Besides basic science courses, they take specialized courses in biomechanics, neuroanatomy, and therapeutic procedures. Therapist assistants, poised for a 44% growth in their profession, can get into the profession with a two-year associate's degree or completion of an equivalent medical assistant training program.

Extroverts possess a perfect profile for business, healthcare, and advisory roles. They are capable of reaching out to others and building strong relationships. They lead and take risks, but without losing touch with the human motivations underlying any venture. Extroverts understand that the bottom line in any occupation is not the bottom line--it's the people. With an innate ability to navigate the complicated terrain of human nature and an online degree in hand, extroverts have what it takes to make it in nearly any walk of life.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

4 (Harmless) Ways to Make a Man Jealous

by David Zinczenko

The jealousy card. You know it well, and chances are you've played it on more than one occasion.
It does wonders, doesn't it? Make a guy jealous, and he's back in the palm of your hands, treating you better, paying more attention to your ups and downs, and cleaning the bathrooms twice a week (with rubber gloves). Genius.

Or is it? As with politics and winter skies, there are various shades of gray here, too. While you may have something to gain by pushing his buttons, you also have an awful lot to lose if you hit the wrong one.

At the risk of being labeled a traitor to my gender - but as a favor to my female friends - here are some surefire ways to safely and compassionately poke your partner with the jealousy stick without risking more serious issues.

Stay Up Later Than He Does

And make sure you're logged in. When he says he's going to bed, tell him you'll be in later, that you just have a few things to look up on the computer. Not that he doesn't trust you and not that you're going to check up on an ex or two, but he doesn't know that.
And his wandering mind may just think you're up to something. And the thought that you might be means that you'll soon be getting more attention than David Beckham in the Los Angeles airport.

Have Drinks with Friends

He knows you talk. He knows you talk more when you're with friends, especially when you add drinks to the mix. And he cares deeply about how he's portrayed in your version of the media - that is, your social network - and how he stacks up against other men. Go out and compare notes with the girls, and selectively report back on the findings of the kangaroo court. He may be less likely to give you damning evidence to report.

Click on ESPN.com

Read up on the latest sports happenings, and bring them up later to your man. When he asks how the heck you knew Padraig Harrington won the British Open, tell him that a couple guys from work were talking about it.

The thought of you playing Erin Andrews (sports reporter for ESPN since 2004 ... C'mon, stay with me here!) around the coffee machine will make him steam without totally burning. (Note: Anything you do with male colleagues that's potentially frisky will infuriate him - and can potentially backfire on you.)

Whoop Him

Challenge him in something physical - whether it's in an upcoming 5K or in your regular yoga class. It's hard for even the least competitive men not to feel antsy when his woman is stronger, faster, or more flexible than he is.

He'll say it doesn't bother him when you cross the finish line first or scratch your ears with your toes. Plus, research shows that even a little healthy competition can ignite your sex life. Don't push the Venus Williams act too hard, though, or he'll wonder if his losing streak will send you in search of a man who's faster, stronger, and better.

Have your own ideas about how to get a partner's attention and get him or her to care more? Share them with others here.